How to Raise a Lady Revised and Expanded by Kay West

How to Raise a Lady Revised and Expanded by Kay West

Author:Kay West
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
Published: 2011-11-16T00:00:00+00:00


109

Chapter Thirteen

TEMPER TEMPER

At some point in your daughter’s early years, no matter how agreeable and sweet natured, she is likely to throw a temper tantrum. My daughter threw a temper tantrum once; she was three years old, prime temper-tantrum-throwing time. We were vacationing on the gulf coast of Florida and because our children were so young—three and one—I cooked most of our meals in the condo. On our last night there, I wanted a reprieve from the kitchen, and we decided on dinner at a popular restaurant that was right on the beach. We spent the forty-five-minute wait out on the deck, where Joy played happily in the sand, throwing bits of crackers to the seagulls. Finally, they called our name, and we were seated. Joy was none too happy to be put into a high chair, which she communicated by squirming, fidgeting, and pouting. Harry dozed in the infant carrier. We ordered, and I pulled out Joy’s coloring book and crayons so she could pass the time as she waited on her fish sticks and fries. After ten minutes she told me she had to go potty, so I picked her up and took her to the bathroom where she fiddled around for a while but nothing more. False alarm, I thought, as we headed back to the table. As I tried to deposit her back in the high chair, she exploded. Hurling herself onto the floor, she commenced to throw a fit that registered about a 7.0 on the Richter scale of temper tantrums. Crying, kicking, flailing, and wailing, she made her position clear. So did I. Scooping her up, I told her father to ask the waiter—who was just then arriving with the long-awaited food—to wrap it all up to go, and I would meet him and Harry at the car. On the way back to the condo, I told her how disappointed we were that her behavior had ruined a night out for all of us, and that it would not be tolerated. Fifteen minutes later, we were back at the condo. Joy was put in her pajamas, then in her high chair, where she sat alone at the table with her cold fish sticks while we went out to the balcony and ate our cold grilled amberjack. She never threw another temper tantrum.

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On the other hand, there is a child I know who is infamous for loud, public, and embarrassing displays of ill temper, which his parents have consistently met with bribes, cajoling, and futile attempts to make everything right. We have witnessed this behavior on various occasions since he was a toddler. The last one I saw was when he was ten, and the only thing that had changed was the volume and his more knowledgeable use of vulgar language. I no longer include this family on my guest list.

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According to child development experts, temper tantrums are a perfectly natural and predictable expression of a child’s first surges of independence— for children ages one to three.



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